Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I Should be Writing


I'm 3,000 words behind in the NanoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month - thingy. I've been reduced to using words like thingy. I shouldn't even be writing this, I should be working on that novel. My life revolves around baking chocolate brownies, eating chocolate brownies, and noveling. Novel writing is fattening.

I have no outline, I'm totally winging it. I'm a picture book writer, people. My books have less than 800 words! There are special punishments for writers in my profession that have the stupidity to clear 1,000 even in a rough draft. I'm breaking new personal ground clearing that word threshold.

I also started two days late. As time ticks on and I continue my frantic writing, two analogies keep popping into my head.  They both describe how totally stupid it is to not have any type of plan. It's amazing how far I've gotten in life, I know.

So, I've been describing my experience in one of two ways:
* It's like running full speed into total darkness.
* It's like a cliff climbing race, and you're always searching for the next hole to grasp. And your kids WON'T STOP TALKING. 

As I eat my 6:00am breakfast of espresso strength coffee and chocolate brownie, the irony is not lost on me. I won't be running or climbing anytime soon.

I'm too busy clogging my arteries with brownies and exercising my finger tips on my crumb-infested keyboard. 

May I remind you once again: If I'm found dead, slumped over my laptop, you will know it was a result of reckless writing abandonment paired with unrealistic goal setting while under the influence of bad, bad, bad friends.

Though you may want to check to make sure there isn't a chunk of brownie lodged in my throat.

Wish me luck.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

An Adventure in Writing


Somehow I got sucked into the National Novel Writing Month project, known as NaNoWriMo, by my evil writing friends. I am behind in my daily word count requirement, but I have hopes of catching up this weekend. Basically, the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. As a result, I won't be blogging much, if at all. Except perhaps to complain. My friends, this is insanity. 

I did take time out of my writing to see my doctor for a physical. Around here, getting a physical is code for someone in my house may be getting laid off and we may not have medical benefits in a few months. Layoff scares also drive me to irrationally stock the garage with large, pillow-sized bags of rice and beans. I'm ready for floods, fires, quakes, you name it. Emergency supplies are on hand.

It had been almost three years since I last saw my doctor. She noticed. I explained to her that unless I have a disgusting substance coming out of one (or more) bodily openings, I don't usually make the time to see a doctor. Fortunately, my visit today was not a result of a disgusting bodily substance occurrence. In fact, I'm proud to report, all body openings were checked (quite throughly) and deemed healthy and sound.

So if I'm found dead, slumped over my laptop, you will know it was a result of reckless writing abandonment paired with unrealistic goal setting while under the influence of overachieving bad, bad, bad friends.

Wish me luck.